There's no new under the sun!

when you want to make a revolution, you should know your target of it! that's true, and whenever you decide to do it... you should have something new to happen!

sometimes there are some people, for some reason, think they are so smart, and they play on my mind... maybe because I'm kind, maybe for some benefits they gain by so... the best response to such point is to be a student... it's an amazing thing when you're a professional teacher in something, but you sit in the student seat and act as if you're a less than normal student!

yeah... let them be smart, and let me be - to them - as a silly or ''kind'' person, who wins and who loses? do you know now who?

if you can't know the white, from the black, then I'm spending my time in vain, as if I'm calling on people from a desert island ! and you're also spending your energy with me in tries... tries.. bla bla bla... do you think life will end if some simple person as me will believe you or not?! I don't think so!

See you in the next post!

Memories and Love

by: Bahaa Sobhey - October 20, 2009 4:30 am

During 3 years you think it'll light... and everything will be fine, because you'll meet your lover finally, and It's the your future life, on a sudden, the one you trusted is the one that turned all your life lamps Off.

after 3 years, you will try to listen to the same songs you was loveing to listen in the past, but you find yourself, not like them anymore...

I've loved some songs, because it's reminding me with the lover I ever trusted, it's still reminding me with her, her desires in me, her promises to not leave me... and seeking my getting online, I play the same songs now, and I imagine she'll come with this exact song, I remember she was always doing it when this song was played... but this time, she doesn't come, a bad disappointing moment, a deep heartache.

when you expect something and comes the contrarily... When you love someone and she's no more caring this point.

I'm keeping listening to the same songs, and it hurts me, when you look around, and she's not online anymore, you feel the loneliness, and like all the songs are bad. the same as the life now !

the sad point is when you try to ask her "how are you?" then you got this: "Life is ok" as an answer, like you're not even in her mind, it makes you feel so hurt, and like you're a stranger, you find yourself talk as a reaction forced to talk like just an old friend ! and like nothing was between you and her before, and it hurts me more ! because I want to tell her that "I Love her so much, and that I can sacrifice her with my life to safe her and make her happy" but you find your tongue is not able, because your heart is afraid, not able to talk, nor to tell her what I want to say, because she's acting with me like I'm a strange person to her.... and I find my mind thinking she might have another person that loves her and she loves him now instead of loving me, then I block myself from bothering her with my feelings words....

I found myself thinking.... and keep thinking, "is it important my happiness? or her happiness??", then my heart answers me: "Surely her happiness, don't be selfish man, maybe she's more happy with the new lover now", then I say to my heart "yeah.. you're right, I shouldn't be selfish... all what's important now is her happiness not me, just don't bother her anymore, from time to time try to send her one or two texts".

In each time I wish myself the luck that she will receive them... and I act like just a friend, no more, to avoid bothering her, I feel it kills me to act like a stranger, and I feel like I need a hug, not any hug.... I need her hug, even if for a first and last time she give me a hug...

my heart and my eyes are crying, and keeping giving tears... the life without her is killing me, I wanna scream, but I can't, days are going on, and the loneliness is my only true friend now, it's with me everywhere I go. but I'll keep listening to the same songs, it's what's remain to me, the memories, not important if it's Happy or bad memories.... Just I have something I can smile when I remember because it reminds me with the true love !

! XP تخيَّل لو كانت الحياة ويندوز

وأنا قاعد في الجامعة في أيّام الدراسة... رن الموبايل وكانت واحدة من الأصحاب... ولقيت البنت مُنهارة ومش طايقة عيشتها وعايزة تقتل أيَّ حد يمُر من قدّامها... طبعاً قعدت أهدّي فيها وأقول لها الحياة بسيطة وكلام من ده... وعزمت عليها تيجي الجامعة وتسيبها من النكد ده... علىَ الأقل السِلَّة هاتخلِّيها تروَّق شويَّة.... قالت لي خمس دقايق وأكون عندك... مسافِة السِكَّة...

المُهم بعد حوالي نُص ساعة جات... وقعدت جنبنا بدون ولا كِلمة... وأفراد الشِلة يحاولوا ينكشوا فيها وهيَّ ولا هنا... طلبت لها عصير ليمون شربتُه وبرضُه من غير ولا كِلمة... قولت لها مالِك يا بنتي؟ قالت لي... البحث إللي طالبُه الدكتور فيه شغل كتير لسَّة ماعملتوش هاسهر عليه للصُبح... بس مش عارفة أعمل إيه... وبعدها سرحِت بخيالها كدة شويَّة وقالِت لي: تخيَّل لو الدُنيا دي ويندوز XP .. وطبعاً قولت في سِرِّي بَس.. دي وصلت والحالة إتدهورت جداً.. البنت إتجنِّنت خلاص... وفضِلت أطاوِعها لمّا أشوف آخرتها إيه... وكمِّلِت كلامها وقالِت... تخيَّل لو الدُنيا دي ويندوز XP... مثلا لو فيه أزمة مرور و الدنيا زحمة نحدِّد كُل العربيّات Ctrl+A وبعدها أعمل لهُم Delete وهبقىَ لوحدي في الشارع... ودايماً أعمِل لحياتي Refresh وأرجع في أخطائي Ctrl+Z وللماضي Clear History .. ولو حسّيت إني مش مُتأقلمة مع الحياة أعمل Format ودايماً أفتح صفحة جديدة في حياتي New Folder ولو ضاع مِني أيّ حاجة بمُنتهىَ البساطة أعمل Search و لو حسّيت بالبرد أخد حبة Anti Virus.. وكُل ما أحِس إن رتم الحياة بطيء أعمل Restart .. و لو حسِّيت إني تٌهت في الدُنيا أخلّي الصورة واضحة Win+Dودايماً أعمل جولة داخل نفسي Alt + Esc و أقفل أي صفحة مش عاجباني Alt+F4 .. و أيّ عقبة تواجهني مش هَيأس وأدّيها Alt+Ctrl+Delete ..ولو عملت أي حاجة و ندمت عليها أعمل Restore ..

طبعاً أنا لو الحياة كِدَة علىَ طول هاعمِل setup .. طيَّب وأنتم .. تخيَّلوا كده الجنان دَه ..